I got the first wedding invitation for 2015 in 2014. I was so excited about it and I promised the host I would be there. Since that time, i have weaved many scenario of the event in my head. For me, I have already attended the occasion. My friend Oluchi gave me a pretty brown dress and a shoe to match when I told her about the wedding. I bought a pair of golden-colored ear rings to wear. I have not drank any soft drink since 3rd January so to aid weight loss and look real good. My assistant agreed she was going to sleep over with the kids. Everything was working well.
Obi, my husband , had told me in 2014 that he had a meeting to attend in January, 2015. I was not worried about the date. I kept visualising me dancing to some hot Naija vibes(on my chair of course). I kept hearing the ‘ohs and ahs’ of relatives and friends last seen many years ago. Alas, it happened just as I didn’t think it. Obi’ s meeting was the same day and outside the town too, just like mine. I didn’t let it bother me yet as I still saw myself gisting and laughing with my brothers and having a fun weekend without my kids. I should have known hubby didn’t want me to go because he turned deaf and dumb anytime I talked about the wedding. On my side too, I had this feeling the kids won’t enjoy staying with my assistant for the weekend. I didn’t want to consider it. Won’t they let me be selfish just this once?
So, it happened that I asked him again about my wedding trip and he said he had bad feelings about that. “What?” “How?”. I felt like a fish out of water. Suddenly, I needed fresh air.This wasn’t happening. He mumbled something about both of us not supposed to be out of town without the kids same day. I wanted to say “then you stay back” but that would have been cheap. Instead, I said he should have told me about the feelings since he had it. I told him how I had planned and given my word for the wedding. But no wahala, I will cancel. He changed his mind then and said that I can go if I can work out the logistics of bringing the kids back from school. I had thought about too. It wont’ be responsible of me to allow the kids miss school because I have a wedding invitation to honour. Since I have to do school run, I have to choose between leaving in the afternoon and getting to Port Harcourt late or leave on Saturday morning and get to the venue late. I already knew the one thing to do but I so desired to have a me time with adults and gist and laugh without the kids interfering with their reports and requests.
Fast forward to Saturday morning, to the part where we all drove to Kingdom Ballet School to register Uju and driving through Sizzlers for some snacks. On the other side of the screen are the kids watching cartoon and movies with grandpa. He won’t forget the day in a hurry as the kids made him speak too much grammar and kept him on guard.
I did not get to show off me in my pretty brown dress and post a picture of it on Facebook, neither did I get to drink Coca Cola nor eat cake. I will have to write a nice note of apology to the couple. Guess I will have another chance to show me off but I will not have another chance to spend this same weekend with my kids, learning as much as I did about them and myself too.
So many things they did not tell us before we became mothers and many more things we will learn on the job. On thing we will never over learn is the ability to let go of our desires and allow love(especially when it is hardest) to take over. Here is a big ups to all the wonderful mothers all over the earth. No one should tell you differently. Your life rocks.