This is not a figment of my imagination that you are about to read. It is as real as you are reading this. I hope I can be able to bring it home to you as it happened. Grab a sit!
Thanks to my able assistants at work, I close early and come home to be with the kids. Today was as normal as always, I even got dinner fixed on time, helped the kids with assignments. Normally, I don’t sit at the dinner table as I like to eat in front of the television or with a book. I remembered something my daughter did that made me change my mind about that( will tell you tomorrow). So, I came to join the kids on the table. I took Bobo’s unfinished plate of fried rice(he picked out as much veggies that he could) and started eating it. Ike (5 years old) came around to where I was and started gisting me. He showed me how boys dance(mimicking the hip hop style of dancing).We all laughed. I asked him how girls dance. He was shy at first and then he wiggled his waist and said his sister should show me. We still laughed but I sensed something was coming up. He told me how he saw girls in a movie on TV dancing with only pant and bra and their laps and tummy were showing(using his hands show the places that were showing). His siblings joined to demonstrate how they were singing and saying.”sexy boy, sexy girl). They did not watch the movie for more than 30 minutes but that stuck with them. That started the lecture. I told him and his siblings that was a bad way of dressing and that God is not happy when we dress like that and they shouldn’t be watching such things. Then, the questions started.
Ike(5 years): mummy, does God speak to us? I don’t hear God o.
Me: (puzzled) yes you can hear God in your mind when your mind tells you to do good things
Ike: mummy, when I drop things on the floor, my mind tells me to pick it up and I do that. Is it God talking?
Me: that is God talking to you
He went on giving instances of how God tells him to do things. By this time, Uju and Obi(bobo) had joined in and they started bombarding me with questions about God. They asked how the spoken word formed things, who made God, does God love us when we do bad things? I answered as much as I could and then she blurted out.
Uju(7 years old) : mummy, how does a woman get pregnant?
She asked it so so casually. I went weak. How do I answer this without revealing too much but still tell them the truth?
Let me take you back some weeks ago. Kids went to grandpa’s and came back with Ike reporting that they saw a movie where they were kissing. That must be one of the Nigerian movies that keeps grandpa entertained. Some days after that, while I was watching a documentary on TLC on childbearing, Uju asked how women get pregnant. I mumbled some answers. So, for her to ask again meant she needed to know. I chewed my rice slowly and told the Holy Spirit to help me.
My response: “I told them how God has created us as boys and girls and then we grow to become men and women. Our bodies develop in different ways as boys and girls. Then when a man meets a woman, there is something from the man’s body that enters the woman’s body and the egg in her body will form a baby. However, it is only married people like me and daddy that can stay together and have a baby. Any other person that does that without marriage has done a bad thing. I illustrated further with the Marriage topics they have done in school.
I was satisfied with myself and my answer when I heard another bomb.
Bobo(7 years) : what is that thing that a man puts in a woman called?
“Ehn?” , I asked as if I did not hear him. He repeated it again. I wished their dad was in the house. He would have helped us answer that. At first, I did not know what to say. Should I form a word for it? How will I explain that one?
(Taking a deep beath)”It is called Sperm”.
He repeated it. (Thank goodness he did not ask how it enters because na there the church for close).
For me, that was a cue that the table has been set. So, I removed every inhibition and told my 7 and 5 year old the real deal about their sexuality in words their minds could take. I told them the consequences of doing the adult thing before they finished school and started working and living in their own houses. I told them not to mind what they see on TV about the half naked girls. They are doing the bidding of the devil. I reminded them their private parts belonged to them alone. I can only touch it when I am bathing them. I told my kids that the only time I give them permission to hit someone is when ANY person is touching their bodies or suggesting to touch them or show them their panties. Peeping toms are not allowed and they should not hesitate to report any offender. They should not fear anyone because they cannot do them anything. It was one long and important talk. I took turns looking in their eyes as I told them to have an attitude of “my mummy and daddy can get me anything I want so don’t lure me with your gifts” They did not flinch. They were caught in the web of what they were learning.
I finished the talk by telling them to be free to gist with me, to ask me anything, anytime and I will always tell them the truth”.
Na wa o! Times are seriously changing. We can’t help but change with it. When I was their age, knowing how women get pregnant was the last on my mind.
Now they are sleeping and I am super grateful to God for these gifts and how He is helping me unwrap them. Let me await the next question they will ask..