I am going to be a better person by the end of November. I am a better person to my world but I am going to be a better person to myself. I know so because there comes a time when one takes a retrospective look and by so doing may come to terms with who he is or not. If we can come to terms with who we are depending on how far we have come, then we are on the path of self discovery. Today again, I drive down memory lane. I seems I will be doing more of that this month. I will try to be truthful to myself.
What profession did I think most of as a child? Think….think…. think…think…. Ugh!! I can’t remember seeing myself as a Doctor or as an Engineer nor an Accountant. My mom was a teacher but I can’t remember seeing myself as a teacher. I can remember a few times when we played as kids and we set up church and took turns reading from the bible and playing pastors. I have grown and I am not a pastor. So, that rules it out. My dad played with Maths as an Accountant. I never bothered to find out how he did it. All I knew was he left in the morning and came back in the evening.
This one thing I remember. I grew up in a compound that had two three-storey buildings facing each other. It was fun days. People looked out for each other those days and with good motives too. In the other building lived a family whose mother(God rest her soul) fried Bons, a delicacy made from flour. Hers was the sweetest and the softest. It melted in your mouth. Sometimes the outer part of it was fried dry that you can make musical sounds as you chewed it. She usually sold her delicacies in a secondary school. So. one had to come early to her house to buy before she left . Kids from the neighbourhood always thronged our compound.
it was one of those times I went to her house that I had this discussion. I cannot remember how it started. I guess I met her or her daughter cooking and then we started talking about food. I was asked the kind of soup I liked and I replied that it was Okra soup. I can’t vividly remember the details but this is what I remember….. I said that when I grow up, I will be cooking Ora/Oha soup(same soup but pronounced differently) for my husband. I don’t know if my words saw the future because my husband likes Ora soup though I don’t always cook it. It is a soup made with Ora leaves, Ede(cocoyam) for thickening, palm oil and assorted meat. The aroma of the soup calls out to neighbours. It is not a kind of soup done in a hurry so that might be the reason I don’t always prepare it. It is a fast world we are in now.
Many times before now, I have replayed that conversation in my head and wondered if it has anything to do with who I am now. Of all the things I didn’t think I would be doing, presently, I am a Housewife, no, a Work from home mom and I cook three times a day(one of the hardest parts of the job that I do with joy) and in between , I write. I fear to call myself a Writer yet because I am lazy to sit down and concentrate on Writing. I hardly cook Ora soup but I guess my husband will love me more if I do because it is one of his favorites.
I am searching through my subconscious to be sure I didn’t think of other things I wanted to be when I was growing up. I find myself asking my kids what they want to be from time to time. Sometimes, their answers make me do the dance but other times, I wished I didn’t ask. I did not think I was going to be a Writer but here I am punching away at the keyboard after cooking dinner and getting the kids to sleep( I didn’t do much of the last part because they were too tired from the day’s play to keep their eyes open as soon as they hit the bed).
Consciously, I try to steer my kids in the direction of a specific career when I expose them to certain kinds of film, entertainment , books etc. Somethings I wonder if it would have made a difference if my parents had taken a keen interest in what I wanted to be. It might not have changed anything after all, my brother knew he was going to be an Engineer at an early age, especially after that evening he had a mild electric shock from fiddling with wire.
This is what I think, it might not have a designated name at first, it might be difficult to grasp but there is something for everyone. If we listen hard we will hear it. It could be only you that will hear it but when you do, run with it. You will win.
In response to Day 3 Writing Prompt: What did you think was the coolest job when you were younger . Do you still feel that way now.I