When life happens, you have to adjust to be able to meet up with the shift in lanes. As a young girl, some things didn’t bother me as they do now. Some of these things I have found out that they aren’t peculiar to only me. There is really no problem peculiar to any one person in this life. The wind blows for all. I asked questions and discovered that most adults don’t understand some things as much as we think we do. Before I start, I want to warn you on two counts….this will be a long one and it will ruffle your feathers as badly as you might not want it to. I am yet to fully assimilate some of the facts that I want to share. If I had my way, I won’t have bothered to check it out but it became a burden to me and with the way things work with me, it won’t allow me be untill I talk about it.
I keep saying that there are many things that they don’t tell us about in marriage classes…that is for those that attended marriage classes. Our mothers only said, “always make sure you satisfy your husband” and the papas said ,(that is for the fathers that can talk about such things) “never say no to your husband”. As excited as we are to seal the marriage deal, no one , especially the ladies ever get the vision of themselves denying their husbands sex. We always boast of how loving we will always be but that is until the cry of a baby announces the end of the honeymoon. From this point is where the,”you don’t love me anymore because you refuse me sex” wahala starts.
Yes, SEX is what I am talking about today. “Birds do it, bees do it and men do it any odd time. But women will only do it if the candles are scented just right—and their partner has done the dishes first”. This is the opening line of an article in www. webmd.com. Everyone has sex drive. However, research has shown that the sex drive in men is stronger and more straightforward than the woman. This drive is called Testoterone. Testoterone is a male sex hormone that is important for sexual and reproductive development. It is the most important male hormone. Women also produce it , but at lower levels than men. Testoterone belongs to a class of hormone called androgens, which are sometimes called steriods. It is produced mainly in the testes, with the same amount made in adrenal glands. The brain’s hypothalamus and pituitary gland control testoterone production. The hypothalamus instructs the pituitary gland on how much testoterone to produce, and the pituitary gland passes the message on to the testes. These communications happen through chemicals and hormones in the bloodstream.( Racheal Rettner). As simple as ABC, testoterone is the reason men want sex as much as they do and in a different way from the woman. (You see one huge reason men can be irrational when the testes receive a certain kind of message). The puzzle we should strive to unravel is to find out how these things work so we can have the best relationships ever.
A man sees a woman and most of all he wants to do with her after some few days of communicating is to have sex. To most women, the mention of sex at the onset of a relationship is as scary as the boogie man in the closet. Every sensible nerve in her body jerks to attention with one mind thought ,”he wants to hit and run”. And with that, she starts to doubt the feelings he has for her …if it is love or lust. For the woman, love is the proof that the man will stay around long after the sex drive has satisfied and the kids have come. Sex for her, is the culmination of her emotional committment to the man. For the man, sex is a physical act that eases the testoterone pressure he experiences constantly. Most times, it is only when the tension has been released that they feel love towards a woman. This is the reason most men disappear after they have got what they wanted. It is mostly not always love that drives him to sex, it is the testoterone pressure. Sex is the reality check for a man’s passion. The woman prolongs the sexual act in a relationship because she wants time for them to develop their feelings. When sex has been prolonged and the sexual tension is at it’s peak,it’s release is mind blowing—and once is never enough; which lays a proper foundation for a future relationship and love. According to an article in in http://www.Sosauve.com, men fall in love through sex;women fall in sex through love.
Man’s sexual need is influenced by what’s around him. That is the reason he sees a beautiful woman and desires to have her in his bed. Whereas the sexual drive for the woman is determined by biological factors like hormonal fluctuations.
Physiologically, the drive for sex is experienced in different ways for both sex. The man has to release built up hormones while the woman has hormonal influctuation. Her sexual drive is determined by two factors namely the female reproductive cycle(mensuration, pregnancy etc) and a part of the brain called Hypothalamus. Her sexual desire is connected to emotions than the man. The man can seperate sex from a relationship while the two are usually interwined for the woman.
Believe this or not but this is the ultimate truth.. God made man to need sex. It is natural for men to be picky about who they want to have sex with because it is their eyes that eat first before any other part of their body. They don’t mind having multiple partners unlike the woman that likes quality. One is always enough as long as she is emotionally satisfied.
Man’s ego is tied up in his sexual experience. To him, it is the ultimate expression of his deepest love for his woman…it is the fullest meaaure of intimacy.
Why then does something so good and satisfying cause wahala in relationships? Stay around for the concluding post.